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Peter steals a parrot and becomes convinced that he’s a pirate. He becomes the scourge of the neighborhood, terrorizing every corner of Quahog until he accidentally kills his beloved bird. Meanwhile, Chris falls in love with the lovely vet intern Anna and turns to Peter for advice.
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Brian discovers that he is the illegitimate father of an old flame’s unruly son, Dylan, who is dropped off at the Griffins’ house so Brian can raise him. He manages to turn Dylan’s life in the right direction, though Brian himself becomes a bit stuck-up as a parent, much to Peter and Lois’ concern.
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Feeling their marriage has hit a snag, Peter and Lois take Brian’s offer to go with him for a relaxing vacation at Martha’s Vineyard. However, as Peter gets drunk, Brian loses his self-restraint and professes his love for Lois. Peter and Brian must now test their friendship over the woman of their dreams.
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James Woods returns to Quahog to seek revenge against Peter by stealing his identity and his family after finding his wallet left behind at a Barry Manilow concert. Though he is left with nothing, Peter counters against his treacherous former friend by ruining the actor’s career and public image.
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Peter saves a fast-food resturaunt owner from a fire and accepts his offer unlimited burgers as a reward for saving his life, though Peter suffers a stroke after eating too many at once. After recovering, Peter strives to expose the evils of the company, finding help in the form of a talking cow.
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After recovering from a coma, Meg finds herself interested in a Medicine student who treats her at the hospital. Peter, however, who has grown protective of her during her stasis, feels very uncomfortable with her new boyfriend. Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie buy and plan to renovate a dilapidated house.
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Peter takes so much pride in being an American citizen that he starts an anti-immigrant campaign in town — until he discovers that he himself is actually an illegal immigrant born in Mexico. Unable to prove or obtain his citizenship, he loses his job and must work at Carter Pewterschmidt’s estate as a servant.
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Returning from her presumed death, Lois reveals her attempted killer to be Stewie. Determined to take over the world again, Stewie holds his family hostage and sets into motion his most diabolical plan yet. Desperate to put an end to Stewie’s reign of terror, Lois realizes what she must do…
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Lois leaves the family behind to go on a cruise with Peter. Jealous that he doesn’t get to come with them, Stewie begins to plot his diabolical revenge. When a skeptical Brian challenges Stewie to actually go through with it, Stewie stows on board the ship and puts his plan into motion.
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Joe, feeling his disability is affecting his marriage, regains his ability to walk after a leg transplant. He decides to play extreme sports and spends most of his time with more athletic people, forsaking Peter, Quagmire and Cleveland, who set all out to re-cripple him to bring him back to Earth.
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