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Peter thinks his son lacks responsibility, so he gets him a job at a golf course. However, when he discovers that Cleveland’s son has the potential to become a pro golf player, he forsakes Chris to train the hyperactive Cleveland, Jr. Discouraged, Chris finds a new father figure in Quagmire.
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Peter wins a tour of a magical brewery owned by Pawtucket Pat (à la Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), while Lois desperately searches for a talented piano player to beat her rival at an upcoming talent competition, finding one in the form of her husband, who can only play professionally when he’s drunk.
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Meg signs up for the high school newspaper club as Brown University’s academic requirement, but Peter replaces her original article with one about Luke Perry’s supposed homosexuality. This lands Meg in hot legal water with Perry, so Peter decides to “prove” that the actor is gay.
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While confronting the mayor about zoning issues around his house, Peter discovers that his house isn’t anywhere on the map, prompting him to secede his house from the rest of the United States, creating the country “Petoria”. His country gains no respect, so he invades the U.S. and annexes Joe’s pool.
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Chris becomes insecure about his weight and goes on a diet, but Peter opts for plastic surgery and ends up getting it himself. Now thin and handsome, Peter becomes swayed by the special treatment he receives people he comes across, while Lois, in spite of her morals, finds that she can’t resist him.
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Peter befriends a mob boss’s nephew, Big Fat Paulie, while paying off a debt. But when he says that Lois doesn’t want them to hang out anymore, Paulie misinterprets the situation and thinks that Peter wants him to kill her so they can still be friends, so Peter must find a way to call off [...]

Stewie is sent off to daycare to learn social skills where he falls in love with a girl named Janet. Meanwhile, Lois begins wishing that her life were more exciting, so she gets a job as a flight attendant at Peter’s request, who exploits Lois’ job position as a means to get free travel for [...]

Peter goes undercover as a high school student to kick youths off the habit of toad licking, making him extremely popular in Meg’s school. Meg asks her dad out to the upcoming school dance in the hopes of becoming popular herself, but Peter chooses to go out with popular Connie D’Amico instead.
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Brian volunteers to bring Stewie home from his grandparents’ house in California, but the two miss their plane and must travel on foot for a cross-country journey back home. Meanwhile, Peter becomes addicted to watching a collection of marriage counseling videos hosted by a porn star.
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After being embarrassed by her family during her slumber party, Meg brings them on a daytime talk show out of revenge, where a TV producer turns the Griffins’ dysfunctional life into a reality show. Things go awry and Meg abandons everyone while the family slowly becomes replaced on the show.
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